Noteworthy.

I'm kind of a hypocrite in different areas of my life but the one I choose to touch on now is birthdays.

When it's my birthday, I think celebrating is kind of ridiculous and have a hard time seeing the point. Feel free to go back and read
somewhere in September through this blog (here's when I turned 21). This isn't a new concept - I'd rather people save their money then spend it on me. It's not a big deal.

Enter hypocrisy.

When it's someone else's birthday that is close to me, I will do anything in my power to celebrate them well. Why? Because I'm blessed they are in my life and I'm given an excuse to celebrate them. An opportunity I refuse to let pass. I try to always be on the watch for comments or specific needs at anytime in the year. I'm not stressing over it but if something is said or done that seems like a good idea, I file it away. And it will be right. As little as the detail may be, whether its noticed or not, like a date on a made up gift certificate.

Yesterday was Anna's birthday. A friend I do not deserve. Not in the slightest. And my thankfulness to my Father is far less than it
should be for such a blessing.

Selfless.
Humble.
Caring.
Loving.
Giving.
Beautiful inside and out.
Hilarious.
Listens Intentionally.
Trustworthy.
Genuine.
Loyal.
Wise.

And the list could go on with a specific example of the way she portrays each attribute. All of which, only stems from her life because of the love she was shown by Him. She probably wouldn't admit to any of the above - she's too humble for that. But she will say any good that comes from her life is because of Him, which is how it should be. Humbleness at its finest. It was pretty early on when I stopped seeing a friend in her but a sister. She is a person who deserves to be celebrated in the right ways. I'm thankful for an excuse called birthdays.

I spend more waking hours at Anna's house then I do mine. If that wasn't true before I worked down the road, it is now. For example this week, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday night I'll be there for some period of time. But there is something to being invited to join in on birthday celebrations. I'll be honest, I expected it but it still means more to me than words can ever portray. It's such a family event. There's something about being part of that. As if this family up to this point hasn't made me feel like part of them already (and they have, abundantly so) this overwhelmed my heart in a way words are incapable of capturing.

I wasn't an observer. I was a participator in this family event.

Over the period of time I've known them: I've become BB, been their slave-laborer after having dinner with their invited guests, had
dinner with just Mom or just the rents, hung out at the house alone, hang out with the g-rents and parents while Anna is making calls and Ali is at Bible study, cleaning up after birthday celebrations. We sit at the counter (or cupboard) and eat dinner if not everyone is home or on Sunday night. I help myself to a drink if I'm thirsty. Conversation isn't forced. We can sit in silence and it isn't awkward. Mrs. Strayhorn was trying to get Mr. to get icecream from downstairs then I volunteered and then yell up the stairs "It's because you're (Mr. Strayhorn) being lazy." I did at that point, say to myself, "you just say whatever you want." haha, I do and I love that. I'd say it at my house with no reserve. I can be my sarcastic, joking self around them - it's more than welcomed, it's encouraged and egged on. No words can capture the feeling of being that comfortable with a family. It's perfect.

Or a story like this, which must be noted - when the rents came in and passed it along, my face physically hurt from smiling and laughing so hard. I wasn't actually present for the comment but in this case, it didn't matter. Anna was upstairs making her BSF phone calls, I was sitting in the living room alone as the rents helped the g-rents to the car. They were making their "she's a really nice girl" comments as this was the first time I had met them. Then Grandpa asks, "does she cook?" The rents told them I've baked them some really good desserts in the past etc . He goes, "well, I really like curry" which insiuated that I should make it. So now Anna's parents are dyyyying and having to explain that I was adopted at a young age (which we went over earlier in the night) into a WHITE family. It was perfect. I only wish I introduced myself in an Indian accent and held that through out the night.

It's little things like that which make a heart like mine blessed. I say it often, some may think too much but I don't care. I love them. I love what they are to me. I love what I am to them. I love that this all started because someone said, "Lets go in the living room and get to know Anna." Without that, I'm unsure if it really would have clicked. It’s easy for some to think things like this are so happenstance, when in reality they’re specifically planned by the All-Knowing. That's something to be celebrated. And as each year passes by and I get an excuse to celebrate that God put this godly friend in my life, I can't help but thank Him for being the All-Knowing and knowing before I was even born, He'd bless me this way. I'm far less thankful than I should be for such a blessing.

No gifts. No words. Will ever capture the joy my heart feels from knowing her and her family.

Thanks be to Him, the giver of gifts such as these. 

Random and Useless.

Yep, it's that time again. Over a month, I have a gmail draft saved for these. 

1. This is completely stereotypical but I'm a fan of shows with an Indian character. They're always one of the funniest in my opinion. The Office, Franklin and Bash, Parks and Rec. 

2. This is one of my most prized possession. Everything inside of it Gabey made and my grandma put it together for me. 

The machete was the main reason for it. Christmas 2010 after I was gone in CA and I kind of thought Gabey would've forgotten about me. He insisted on spending all his money which was $10 on Aunt Boppy for Christmas. Beka tried to convince him to split it up but he wouldn't have it. The drawing of his hand was done recently and it's his hands with muscles on the wrists. The other elements is me playing basketball and an envelope with my name on it that he taped a mint for me to enjoy. So thoughtful. The last one behind the basketball drawing is an envelope that was addressed "Aunt Boppy" to me when I was at school. Well no one knew I was Aunt Boppy - so the secretary was going around school trying to figure it out. Well, the writing on the back there is Beka saying, "He licked the envelope shut while eating chips" and there was a chip piece still attached to the envelope when it arrived. So the secretary was not only trying to figure out who Aunt Boppy was, she was also reading that over and over again. 

3. It's 2012 and has been for 5 months. You'd think by now, whenever I type a date I'd type 2012 and not 2011. This is WHY I forget how old I am or don't know how old/what grade people are in. It changes every year and it takes half of that year to sink in.

4. I own an umbrella and that's only because my mom provided one for me. I rarely to never use it. It's in my trunk (I think) which is obviously the most practical place for it to be.

5. I really dislike when it's gorgeous weather outside - all day, until about 5:30 when I get home. What is that? 

6. Been blogging on xanga since 2/9/2005 - I kind of want to start at the beginning and work my way through reading the blog. I have  596 + may , 2007-2009 were kind or sparse. I have started reading and cringe at how I wrote. It'll be interesting to see where I transitioned into a better writer. For now, I can't help but chuckle at how awful I was at writing or more so, rambling on with no direction.

7. Things like this mean a lot to me - we definitely surpassed that teacher/student relationship awhile ago but sometimes I think I think that up in my mind. It's nice to know I didn't. 

8. I've lived in MI practically my entire life and I've never been to Tulip Time until last night. Fascinating stuff. And good times had with Anna and Ali.

9. I'm sure you've heard of Obama and his stance for gay marriages. Personally I think it's for more votes. I honestly anyone that would still vote for him after these past 4 years is going to vote for him no matter what and tack on these other votes - who knows.

10. I think this is dumb. If anything don't ban it completely but go hands-free - that's what CA was and with technology now a days, it's possible. But banning it all together is ridiculous in my opinion. Well, texting and driving is a bad idea - I admit I do it, but when no one is with me and when no one is around me. 

11. I stumbled upon this yesterday. Um, no thank you. 

12.  A friend showed me this and it made me livid. I read the FAQ and was reminded yet again what a broken world we live in. Bring on Eternity. 

Job Randomness.

Part of my job consists of going through the keywords that people google to get to IQS directory. Well, people google stupid things. 

1. I've noticed people can't spell....at all. Things like this: whaste handling, poilshing macines,instalacion conveyor for midwest - even worse than that is when people google hashtags. Seriously, do you really not understand that you're going to get nothing googling a hashtag? #protectivecapsforhead

2. I also discover words that have other meaning I've never heard of like "dirt bag houses"...um, ok. The actual definition. Who knew. Thanks urban dictionary. haha. 

Not to mention my co-workers can't spell either. 

"I'm not sure how Ally does Reranks but I ushally don't publish until the rollover is in to minimize the time when rollovers aren't showing." 

Picking out your clothes the night before saves a lot of time in the morning. Minus, I’m really a not-sure-what-I’m-gonna-feel-like-wearing-until-the-morning-of kind of person. It’s a toss up between time or feelings. I tend to lean towards time because that means more time in my bed.

This past week I had a 3 hour meeting. Crazy. Brain. Exhausted. 

The other day I was handed instructions on how to do something that were made in 2009. To say the least they weren't up-to-date at all. At all. I found myself asking a lot of questions and was on the phone with a guy that works remotely for an hour. Once I got a handle on it, while working through it, I created new instructions that actually matched up with what I was learning. 

I have 3 monitors at work. 2 for the pc, 1 for the mac. I often want to go from the mac to the pc and forget I have to switch mice. And the mac at work isn't update to Lion...not only do I get confused from going to typing/ working on a pc keyboard and system etc, then I get home and it's somewhat different as well. I know that sounds little but it really is more than it seems. 

I leave at the same time everyday and sometimes I get to work 15 minutes early and sometimes I get there 5 after. Like I said, it doesn’t really matter what time I get there. Either way, the boss gave me a key to the office because I usually beat him there.  Today I opened the office for the first time. 

Got paid today. It's a 2 week pay schedule, except the direct deposit doesn't go in until Wed on week 3. Whatever. Pay day is a good day.

Tomorrow is apparently a good day. 

Hi All,

No need to bring your own lunch or to go out for lunch tomorrow because it's Pizza Thursday at IQS! They will be delivered at noon, and I'll order a variety, so bring your appetites to work tomorrow!!

Thanks,

Cathy

Yay for pizzzza! And that'll actually get us chatting other than work things, I think. We have another newbie starting tomorrow and had one start on Tuesday as well. 

I think that's all the useless information I feel like sharing. To say the least, at the end of the day, my mind hurts. I appreciate getting emails through the day, just to take a moment to think about something else. 

Real Apology.

Today I saw this...

And thought of this...

It couldn't have been more true. He was so sad he hurt his Aunt Boppy. 

Love that boy. 

Fairy Tale.

I've only ever liked two guys - 1 is now married and the other is not. I never been one to pine over someone - that's not my personality, at all. The question may be, do I still like the guy that isn't married. He's a great guy and if he were to ask me out, I wouldn't say no. Does that mean I'm madly in love with him etc etc? Nope.

Last night at BSF, we were in 1st Peter 3:1-7 which is about wives submitting to husbands and husbands submitting and respecting their wives. It was a good discussion but what got me was the lecture, given by a married man. Some of his points and comments really didn't seem to fit in well at all, like what men really like is when their wives initiate physical intimicy. Maybe that was a not-so-sly hint to his wife in the room. Anyway, at one point he mentioned that a guy wouldn't mind if a girl came up to him and asked him out to coffee. He gave an example of how he was standing in a group of mixed company and at one point, everyone dispersed except him and another 20-something adult. She made some comment like I wish he would ask me out or I really like him...something along those lines. He went on to explain how she (the girl) was dropping hints that she liked the guy and his advice was to her was 1) he doesn't know you were dropping hints and 2) why don't you ask him out to coffee?

This made me raise an eyebrow. A red flag if you will. I was going to just let it go and mull over it later. After lecture, we are supposed to talk about what stood out to us. Again, I wasn't going to say anything. Our discussion was coming to a close and I was kind of shocked no one said anything about it, the one girl mentioned the marriage part of 1 Peter 3-5. For some reason, this  invoked it in me. My two comments were 1) I don't really agree with women asking men out and 2) I am content in my singleness, while still wanting to be married. (A couple things he said kind of made references to the fact that this may not be possible but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Honestly, I'm glad I brought it up as it invoked a hearty discussion.

I think in our society now a day, we downplay the role of the man, almost giving him an excuse to not step up and be a man. Women are so controlling, so they (men) don't feel right being the one to ask or whatever (were some of the comments made or on that general line). I agree with this BUT us asking them out, doesn't help that at all. It only makes the statement more true and  continues to give them an excuse. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against asking a guy friend out to coffee or whatever. The key word is friend. If I were to ask a guy out to coffee and my motives were I want to date you, I wouldn't feel right about. That's making the first move and paving the road for the rest of your relationship. Or if I knew that guy had feelings for me and I didn't for him, it wouldn't be right. The heart isn't something to mess around with and we - especially as believers - both have a responsibility to protecting that for ourselves and for others.

So, as someone who has gone on dates, I've appreciated that the man does what he should by stepping up to the plate. That said and one of my slogans I throw in when I can - not all good guys are worth dating. I have gone on dates with good guys and it just wasn't "meant to be", but I still respect them for wearing pants.

There were 2 in the group, married and engaged, who strongly said they would ask a guy out/they pursued their guy. Oh and one other person who is probably the shyest person I've ever met, said she would as well. I was not only shocked that she answered the question but shocked by how. I wanted to say - really, really, you'd ask a guy out? I refrained. Anyway, it just so happened the married one in the group, her husband came up during said conversation. I don't know him that well but well enough to know where he'd stand on this issue. So I asked for the mere fact to draw my points in (well played, I know), did she pursue you? He answered with a chuckle, not at all. So I asked, would you have liked it if she did? His answer was no, it wouldn't be right.

Call me traditional but that's how I feel. If I was a guy and was asked out by a girl, honestly, I would feel like I lost my manhood. There is a reason the man asks the father's blessing, a reason the man gets down on one knee and asks for the hand of marriage. We women are to be protected by the man, in many ways, and to be led. If that doesn't start from the get-go by the man being a man, nothing is to say he'll be one later on in the relationship.

Wrapping this up, I did tell one of the guys I liked, about 5 years ago, that I liked him and that was after years of liking him. That's no exaggeration. I also knew or had a pretty good idea, he didn't feel the same way. So for me, it was more so just to get it out there, so I could "move on" if you will. Years after the fact, I don't regret telling him but I don't think I'd do it again in any instance. Mostly and honestly because I want a guy that 1) knows he wants to date/marry me and 2) is willing to make that known on his accord.

We call that being pursued.

Call that an unrealistic standard, if you will. But that's the "fairy tale" I am willing to wait for.