This is something I've thought about and have even felt convicted about in the last couple years post college. In HS, I had an unofficial mentor who in all honesty, got me through HS and is someone I highly, highly respect. She was a teacher that went far past her job description, loved and cared for me and directed my paths to Christ. She is still someone I highly respect and look to for advice (we still get together here and there) but with times things have changed, no fault to her. Life happens. We are good friends and I value her role in my life.
I've always struggled with the idea of a mentor because my natural tendency is not to talk about myself. It isn't that I'm trying to avoid conversation about me. I know about me and don't feel it necessary to hear myself talk about my mundane life. I'd rather seek out and invest in other people by listening and asking questions. I'm not foolish enough to think I've arrived in any sense but the idea of asking someone to invest in me, so I can primarily talk about me seems incredibly selfish. Naturally, I would want to know about them and know it would be stretching for me to allow and know it would be almost selfish on my behalf. I would want a mentor relationship where I'm not just takling but also, if possible, giving. Not that I expect my mentor to need mentorship from me. Not at all. Actually I'd doubt I'd have much to offer anyway. I just want to be able to give as well. The idea of someone pouring into me and me not being specific about pouring into them or even the idea, are you going to get burned out by this one sided "friendship" or mentornship? I've been on that side of things.
In complete honesty, the idea of a mentor seems forced. It seems unnatural to me and I wish I could explain why I felt that way. A part of me doesn't like to feel like I need a mentor to succeed in life. Or what does admitting that I need or want one show? Weakness? Dependability? Humanness? Or despite the fact I don't feel like I need one (most days) doesn't mean I couldn't benefit from it. Even now thinking about the idea, I wouldn't know what to talk about. Nor do I want to feel dependent on a person but solely on God. But I also whole-heartedly believe God gives us people for a reason. He created relationships (not just marriage relationships) because we need them.
I write this out not to confuse anyone but to show in a real way the thought process I go through. I don't take this idea or many ideas lightly.
I came across Proverbs 13:20 not so coincidentally in my reading, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."
A couple months ago, Pastor began revealing some changes within our church that, to me, seemed to offer that accountability or relationship I was seeking (in my heart and mind), so I waited but months later these haven't begun. I don't fault him on that, I know and understand launching things take time (ie the church website...ugh). During our Tuesday morning team meeting that starts out with devotions, my boss who is 60-something talked about her relationship with her mentor who has mentored her since 1992. For some reason this took me off guard. Even she had a mentor. Even she noticed the necessity to walk with the wise to become wise. This wasn't a new concept to me as I've listened intently to my two "
old friends" speak very seriously about mentorship and how it was a big part of their lives as well as others I respect. So what's holding me back?
I'm not entirely sure and I think it's time I officially go down the road of being mentored. Whatever that means, whatever that looks like and however you go about that. Guess we'll see.
