November 14, 2012
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Insight.
Yesterday, I left the house when everyone was sleeping (5:10 am – alarm 4:15) and got home when everyone was sleeping (10:30 pm). And had this waiting for me. I shouldn’t have checked my email. I will say there are days she comes in and refuses to acknowledge me as a human being, when I talk to her she won’t look or respond to me in the slightest, and when I ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do she threatens to quit. One day she loves me, the next she despises me.
“I’m sorry to inform you that I have a complaint and also thoughts of not being on the basketball team this season I, in my view have some valid reasons why I would not continue to play. I have a problem with the fact that I’m not listened to ever by you, when you talk it’s all about me but, when I try to talk you don’t respect me! I haven’t even said anything yet and you already shut me off, when I go to open my mouth when your talking it’s not to say something sassy its mostly to ask you something, tell you that I’m tired, tell you that my knees hurt, ask you how to solve something, telling you about a solution to this or that. You never give me a chance to talk, I wish I could tape one of our conversations I do so you could see, but I can’t. That’s why I’m asking now to just when I go to say something when your done talking to me, just to hear me out just to listen for a second cause a person can’t be coach able if the coach won’t listen to the player and see exactly what that player is struggling with, are with me on this? What I’m saying is give me a chance to defend or explain why I’m not doing this or that, that’s all. I don’t want to have to say goodbye to basketball it’s a great sport but I cannot continue to play if I have communication problems with the coach, I can’t, sorry. I also feel as if are conversations at practice are very repetitive, you say I’m better than this that I have potential and all this I’m not trying to sound big headed but I know I am I know I can it’s when you come to me and say that and then you say I’m disrespecting you and not listening and all that it gets me angry and it makes me not want to try at all thats why I don’t run, and I’m going to admit it now that’s my way of having power over the coach any coach and it’s wrong but I’ll admit I love having power I like to be in control and I want respect that what I like, I’m not going to lie. I honestly I like feeling wanted I do like last year when I said I was done the day before districts I was mad but the way I got my revenge and that satisfaction of being wanted was when you asked me not to quit and mr yoder and my parents and the team asked me not to quit that was my way of controlling people and honestly it’s wrong it is. In conclusion I just wanted to state my points and just tell you what has been on my mind since the first practice and I’ve covered it up but when you or anybody gets me upset it shows, it does, so that is my statement, I’m not quitting basketball, but if it continues to be a communication issue I’ll have to go, because honestly physically it’s not healthy and mentally either especially for me i’m right now mentally unstable I have bad depression so that doesn’t help with things but I can cover it up, all I’m asking is for some resolution, let’s fix this and start listening to e a c h|o t h e r and we can both have a great season, I really do think that, it’s just the communication. Well thats all I have I’m done.”
I know I won’t, in my power, get her to understand that if I didn’t care for her or love her, I wouldn’t take her aside and invest in her. Believe me, it takes energy, PATIENCE, time out of practice and is unfair to the rest of the team but I do it anyway because I care about this girl. The above are big issues and it would be much easier for me to not let her try, selectively show up for practice, have a horrible attitude and just not play her. But I know it isn’t right despite her manipulation.
Believe me; I know I have much to learn as a coach but I keep thinking of that one sheep the shepherd goes to find while leaving all his other ones behind.
One small insight into coaching HS girls. This is only one of them and what they bring to the table. It’s a fulltime job to really invest but I can’t do any less. I care for them too much.
