Yep, finally did it after all these years (June 12, yeah...just getting to writing about it). Technically it has only been 4.5 years and I've been in and out of WCBC all of that time. I was more nervous than I thought I'd be. I knew I'd be nervous but man, I was nervous. I know it showed as I cowardly read my testimony word for word of my paper. I'm not sure why I was so nervous. A week prior I had given a speech for Heather's wedding. I was nervous for that but not nearly as nervous because I didn't know anyone there in the broad scheme of things. I got up to give it and didn't feel nervous at all. I didn't use my "notes" except for when I was reading the joke(s) I had written down. Otherwise it flowed smoothly. Ha, I wish I could say that about my testimony. It was a business meeting night and church was definitely more packed than normal Sunday nights. It went well...I guess. I was a bit disappointed in myself and how I let my nerves overtake me the way they did - that honestly never happens.
Anyway, I'm a member.
Thinking back, I always kind of thought I'd feel more secure in my life when and if I became a member at WCBC. Meaning.... I'm working at Wynalda Packaging, the family company and any time I share that with people, I feel somewhat ashamed that I'm there, yet I know it's a HUGE blessing. I always said I didn't want to just come back to Grand Rapids and just be back here because it's where I grew up. haha, just what I've done. Although, I'm not ashamed by it.
A friend from Wyoming sent me a job description the other day of an opening near him and his wife. My first thought was I've planted myself here for the time being and I have or at least it feels that way. I guess when things end at Wynalda, we'll see what doors open up. I'm also quite unsure when and if things will end...work keeps coming. Weeks and weeks keep going by. Weeks turn into months, months turn into years... is this how years turn into more years? I really don't know what is next or if I should start planning for what is next. I rest this, along with many other things in my Father's hands. It's not worth the unnecessary worry and stress it causes when I let my mind envelope such worry and thoughts about the future.
I try to avoid the question what is next? Honestly, I don't know. I often feel foolish not knowing the answer and find myself tripping over my words to answer the person. I like to have things planned and knowing what I'm doing. I just do. I don't enjoy making the plans - I will if it comes to it. In the past, I've planned and God has redirected my steps for the better. I don't want to live a life so focused on the future that I miss the present blessing of each day and vice versa. It's all about finding the middle ground.
Planted in GR, MI...at least for now.
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