November 12, 2010
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the little things.
I know this about me but I am going to share it here. It really is the LITTLE things in life that matter the most to me — silly things that mean the world to me but can also crash my world because it wasn’t thought about.
Tonight I had something that I just wanted to say and just said something to my roommate, “do you ever feel like you don’t know how to react to things?” and she completely ignored that I uttered those words and began asking other questions about a person’s home. I don’t want to say this to sound selfish or big headed but this is a huge reason that I try not to expect 2 way friendships/relationships in my life. I love to listen – don’t get me wrong, I do and it brings me joy but in those moments when I just need to say something, I know there aren’t many people that will stop in that moment to listen. I simply have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter if it is a two way relationship – often my relationship with God isn’t two ways and even when it is…my side of the bargain doesn’t hold up worth anything.
Sigh. I have a knot in my throat in stomach.
Bedtime.
